Courtney Milan takes us back to where it all began…
I’m so sad to see the Vagabonds are packing up camp. I remember how they started. The Vagabonds were a part of what we called the Chocolate Mafia, back in 2006. We bonded together during Avon’s FanLit contest, where the Vagabonds adopted me into their group–a group of friends who posted on the Eloisa James Bulletin Board–even though I was an interloper who had only lurked on the sidelines. They shared in my joy when my first entry in the FanLit contest finaled, even though they had never talked to me before. It’s that friendship and camaraderie that I want to celebrate, and so in honor of the Vagabonds, I want to reprint the story that brought me to them.
A few notes: This version is unedited. I haven’t let myself read it, because if I do, I know I will be itching to correct parts, to edit and tweak it. There are a lot of things not to like about this story. One of them is that it is essentially a complete story in 1500 words. But for better or worse, writing this story changed my life.
Here was the writing prompt we were given:
The time: London, 1815, Spring;
The setting: The Duchess of Alderman’s annual ballWhen your chapter opens, it is well after midnight and the ball is in full swing. A hush comes over the room as the beautiful and mysterious Countess Fraser enters. With little more than beauty, wit and charm, she has taken society by storm. But what is her background? The ladies are suspicious, and the men are predictably smitten.
All except Damien, the Earl of Coulter. He is convinced the lady is a charlatan. Determined to unmask her deception, he demands a dance.
The chapter concludes at the end of the evening. The twists and turns are up to you.
And this is what I produced:
–
The Goddess of Small Things
The clock had long ago struck twelve, and Captain Damien Rathbourne, Earl of Coulter, had developed a ferocious itch in his left leg. As that leg had been amputated over a year ago, he had no choice but to suffer in discomfort. The itch, of course, was the least of his pains. Tonight, the small things festered: women fastidiously avoided his eyes; conversations politely fixed on the weather rather than his health.
Half-foxed and wholeheartedly tired, he longed to leave. And yet at this late hour, guests still arrived. The latest announcement–Countess Something-or-Other–was a disaster. Her orange hair was twisted into a careless bun from which strands were already escaping. Her gown was outmoded, and her figure leaned towards chubby. As she walked down the stairs into the ballroom, she slipped on a step, and crashed into a gentleman. A ghastly silence swept the ball; a woman tittered.
“Unbelievable,” Damien muttered to himself.
Lord Darby, who stood near him, cast him a shocked look. “Countess Fraser? She’s a goddess.”
Damien’s gaze flicked back to the Countess. She had picked herself off the floor and appeared to be apologizing, her hands gesturing animatedly. She didn’t seem to be a beauty. “If you think so, you shouldn’t have much competition for her.”
“Are you mad? Countess Fraser could have her pick of any man.”
“She’s an Incomparable?” Damien was dubious.
“‘Course not,” Darby remonstrated. “I can compare her to loads of girls. She just comes out on top, is all.”
“She’s an Original, then.”
Darby waved his hand in denial. “No. Originals are all alike–snooty girls who think that wit and insult are synonymous.”
“Well-dowered?”
“Penniless, if rumor holds true.”
“Blue-blooded?”
“Before she married the now-departed Count Fraser, her people were nobodies.”
“Connected to the grand dames of London society?”
“So far as I can see, the women all hate her.”
“She’s a goddess?” Damien frowned dubiously.
“A goddess.” Darby affirmed. “Not Aphrodite, of course. But a goddess of little things gone right. You can’t understand unless you meet her.”
Damien shifted his weight from one crutch to the other. After Vitoria, it was as if his human interactions had been amputated along with his leg. His cohort stopped speaking to him of sport and war, and gradually withdrew from him altogether. Damien was suddenly furious with the purported goddess. He had everything but his leg, and yet could find no one. This mysterious woman had nothing and yet charmed everyone. He suddenly wanted to prove that she was like every other girl at the ball. She would be wretched. Conniving. And above all, she would be unable to meet his eyes.
“Well,” he said, striving to hide his anger. “Why don’t you introduce me then?”
Damien felt every eye in the ballroom carefully choose to look in another direction as he crutched his way across the ballroom. He could move at a reasonable clip; Darby barely had to slow his pace. The little things, however, irritated. Young maidens magically waved to friends across the room as they registered his direction; they dashed away lest he should corner them. Men fixed their gaze on some far away point. Damien gritted his teeth and clumped along.
Darby had not been lying; the Countess held court over a veritable bevy of men, ranging from pups down from Cambridge to sixty-year-old widowers. “Countess!” cried Darby, edging inside her circle. She smiled and gave Darby her hand. He bowed over it, and turned. “Allow me to introduce Captain Rathbourne. Earl of Coulter.”

The Countess extended her hand to Damien as well, and then stopped. Her gaze traveled down, and caught his single leg. Up close, he could see something more of beauty in her features. Her complexion was clear, and while her coiffure was less than perfectly arranged, her vivid hair sparked about her face like orange flames. Damien could see her animated blue eyes realize that he could hardly take her hand without dropping his crutches. She raised her face and met his gaze directly.
“Captain,” she said, dropping her hand. “I think that I should bow to you.” And she did. Her bow was inelegant and choppy, but her voice seemed sincere.
Sincerity. Eye contact. He would weep if he thought she were real. But it would take so little effort to expose her for a fraud. She, too, could see no farther than the surface. He was sure of it. The opening bars of a waltz played.
“Countess,” he said, before he could think. “May I have this dance?” The members of her throng opened mouths to object, but shut them one by one. They had spent a year pointedly ignoring his lack of a leg; they could hardly talk about it now.
But the Countess smiled sweetly. “I’d be delighted,” she said, and walked towards him. Calling his bluff, was she? Oh no; he wouldn’t back down now. He could not take her arm, and so she placed her hand on his elbow, as he limped out onto the ballroom floor. She turned towards him and smiled.
“Now, how do we do this?” she mused.
“I haven’t the faintest.”
“You’ve never danced–?”
“Not since Vitoria.”
“Well,” she said, undaunted. “We’ll have to figure out how to make do. Now let’s see.” She stepped closer to him. “I’ll have to put one hand there.” One hand lightly touched his shoulder. “As for the other one . . . .” She paused and laid it atop his right hand where it gripped the crutch. “Here.”
He had to lead. How, he thought, could he lead when he barely had room to place his crutches? Desperately, he heaved one crutch forward and shifted his bodyweight. Unfortunately, she stepped to the left. Her foot caught his crutch, and she tripped, sending his support flying. She fell; he followed, the wood floor of the ballroom bruising his wrist as he landed. He heard something that sounded like the ripping of cloth.
It was really only a few bars of music before he leveraged himself into a sitting position. She was kneeling next to him, a look of concern on her face. The lace hem of her dress had torn.
“Go.” He whispered. She had called his bluff; he had paid the price. He fumbled behind him, blindly seeking his other crutch. “Go!”
But she shook her head. “If you leave this dance floor now, you will never return.”
“I don’t care.”
“I don’t believe you.” The Countess stood up, grabbing his other crutch. He glared at her balefully. She reached down, took his hand, and hauled him erect. He leaned against her, helpless, until she handed him the other brace.
“I’ve always wanted to sweep a man off his feet,” she said, dimpling into his eyes. “But I had never intended to do so literally.”
It took him a few moments to understand. She had not tripped him on purpose. She was not making fun. She was treating him with care and reason, but not pity. He hadn’t realized what a weight there was in his chest until it lifted.
He gave her a tentative smile. “Foot,” he replied.
“Pardon?”
“You swept me off my foot,” he explained. She laughed. It wasn’t a genteel titter, or a giggle, but a real laugh from the belly.
“Let’s start again,” he said, and she moved against him, once again resting her hand against his chest. “I don’t believe I can waltz the normal way.”
“No,” she murmured, looking up at him. “But think,” she said, “how well-designed you are for the waltz.” He blinked at her. “One-two-three,” she counted.
He shook his head, confused all over again. “One,” she explained, patting his right crutch. “Two.” She motioned to the left crutch. “And three.” Her hand gently patted his thigh. He lived. Oh gods, he lived.
“One, two, three.” He counted, in tune to the music. “One,” he said, shifting a crutch. “Two,” he said twitching the second crutch into place. “Three.” And he pulled his leg into place. “Brilliant. Now you just need to dance along with me.”
Laughing together, they hopped along. It was not an elegant dance, nor a sensual one.
“I feel like a frog,” he complained.
At first she didn’t respond. Then–”Ribbit,” she croaked. And he laughed. She gleamed up at him like sunlight.
When the music ended, he grinned at her. “Thank you, Countess.” Had he really thought her plump? Suddenly, the other women seemed skinny and without substance. She was not graceful, like the pinched swans that glided around the ballroom. But grace also meant salvation.
He would never have her, he thought. Not when he was a cripple, and every man in London wanted her. But perhaps he would share her company again, and bask in the pleasure of small things gone right.
Manda: Even then Courtney’s writing (or CM as we called her) was superb. And now we’re celebrating the publication of another short work, the novella, “The Wicked Gift,” which is included in the anthology, The Heart of Christmas, along with stories by Mary Balogh and Nicola Cornick. One lucky commenter will receive a copy of The Heart of Christmas.
Thanks, Courtney, for agreeing to be our final Visiting Vagabond!
And Avon Fanlit started the infamous Chocolate Mafia.
You know, as I was reading this . . . I was struck once again by how much I loved it, how even in those 1500 words that Courtney could weave a chapter full of emotion, humor, and a story that makes you yearn with your whole heart to read. And I think that description fits Courtney’s other books, which I’ve been extremely lucky to beta read: she makes you yearn.
And a writer who makes you do that, has all the talent in the world. And one who does it with the kindness and intelligence that Courtney possesses will do skyrocket to superstardom.
Congrats once again on THE HEART OF CHRISTMAS and “This Wicked Gift!” I can’t wait to see the many great and fabulous things in store for you!
*Please don’t enter me in the contest as I have the book already and have read it many, many times*
This makes me cry yet again. The first time I read it three years ago, I was simply stunned by it, and thought it was by far the best entry (and I read every damn one of them). Its staying power proves CM’s genius. Thanks for sharing it to send the Vagabonds off on their journeys.
I remember reading this during Fanlit and thinking, “Wow! This woman’s going to go places!” Your beautiful writing made me cry, laugh and sigh back then and it did it to me all over again today. Congratulations on the release of “This Wicked Gift” in THE HEART OF CHRISTMAS and good luck with your upcoming debut single title, PROOF BY SEDUCTION!
Thanks for making our last Visiting Vagabond Day extra special, CM.
I thought “The Goddess of Small Things” was a gem when I read it and raved about it in the Fanlit competition, and it has seemed as rare a gift to the reader with every rereading. I knew when I first read it that someday I’d be buying books by Courtney Milan.
“This Wicked Gift” is another gem, and adding The Heart of Christmas to my keeper shelves was a particular delight.
CM~
I loved this one during fanlit! I’m so happy to have the chance to read it again.
Congrats on your release, I’ll be picking it up as soon as I get to the store!
Di
Courtney, what a fabulous story! I don’t think you need to change a word. From the title – which I adore – to the last line in a perfectly encapsulated chapter, it’s one little surprise after another.
Congratulations on the release of “The Wicked Gift” and I look forward to PROOF BY SEDUCTION.
This was a great way to ride off into the sunset, Vagabonds! We’ll miss you.
Good morning, Vagabonds! Ely, Maggie, PJ, Janga, and Di, thank you again for your support. I would never have started writing without the encouragement you gave me, and without your immediate and unequivocal acceptance. You guys are the absolute best, and I’m getting a little teary-eyed thinking about all we’ve done together.
And Vanessa, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I actually can’t even read it–I tried to after it posted–and I got to the second line and started panicking about all the things I should change to smooth it out. So, I’m glad you liked it anyway.
Wow, what memories! Your genius was evident from the first. So many wonderful things came out of FanLit, including this very blog–which I’m going to miss so much! (Yeah, I know, I rarely come around, but I read it religiously on my Google reader.)
But really, CM – I think you should have posted your REAL first chapter.
I remember being so surprised that you weren’t ACTUALLY a redhead. LOL. Which makes no sense, since I’d chosen the same avatar and I wasn’t a redhead, either.
Tessa, I don’t actually have a copy of my real first chapter. I looked for it, but my guess is it is lost to the annals of time. To which I say, DEAR ANNALS OF TIME, THANK YOU.
And no, I am not actually a redhead. But I *was* one for a month! And boy, did that ever shock my parents.
Sad the blog is shutting down! But, I speak from experience and know how that happens.
What a fun trip down memory lane, Courtney. I remember this chapter well – it was my fave of the whole contest. I sometimes regret that I wasn’t more involved (kid starting kindergarten and moving to a new house smack in the middle of it made consistent participation impossible, sigh), but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter since I made so many wonderful friendships that I absolutely treasure. Thanks for the good times, and here’s to more!
Yay! I remember back during fanlit how everyone was buzzing about this chapter–it knocked my socks off then and it does the same thing now. I really can’t believe it’s only been three years. It feels like I’ve known you all forever. And I am so thankful for the friendships that were forged in fires of the zero bandit
Thanks again, Courtney for agreeing to do this. It’s fitting that we Vagabonds should spend this last week together celebrating the publication of a founding member of the Chocolate Mafia! Congrats on your novella. And I can’t wait until the rest of the world gets to read Proof by Seduction.
Courtney, I remember that writing prompt! (I think I even submitted an entry) I, too, am saddened that Romance Vagabonds is closing; I’ve really enjoyed reading their posts and will miss them. But I wish them all well on their future ventures. Thanks for the memories, ladies!
Margay
Wow, wonderful chapter, full of stuff that yells ‘keeper’ and ‘comfort read’. So when do we get to read the rest of the book?
Courtney, that was a great chapter! I hadn’t been involved in the Avon Fanlit, so I don’t think I’ve read it before, but I love it…and I loved This Wicked Gift!
Having not been part of fanlit, I came to this online community as an “outsider” just a little bit later on, but never felt like an outsider! I love all the Vagabonds to death and I’m happy to have been reading your wonderful posts for the last three years. As always, everything must eventually come to an end, but in this case at least, I know the future only holds bigger, brighter and better for all of you–and of course, we can keep in touch!
Courtney, what a lovely and unique story. I am hooked, and I must know more! Please tell me that you plan to turn this into a full-blown story one day.
Wow. What an incredibly powerful and poignant story, in such a brief number of words. I’m impressed. I’ve tried to write short fiction, and just can’t seem to do it.
Great way to end the guest posts at the Vagabonds.
Wow, what great memories this brings back! I always thought this was one of those very perfect things that comes along every now and then. Courtney, it really is a true romance story – with all of the heart and joy and pain and beauty many longer novels aspire to carry and never do. Thanks for sharing the story with us again. I am SO proud of all of my FanLit Sisters! You’ve all done so well and been so supportive of me and of each other. FanLit Forever, Girls!
Courtney, you left me with a lump in my throat. It’s wonderful!
That was a really lovely story. Congratulations on your new release and good luck on your future books.
Hi Courtney,
Congrats on the new release. I, too, can’t wait for “Proof of Seduction” to be released.
CM, this is original and brilliant (as is the title…wonder what Arundhati Roy would think of it?). You’ve left me wanting more, much more of this story. How will they negotiate their dance of courtship? So many potholes along their road, so many obstacles. Now that you’ve had a chance to revisit it (thanks to the Vagabonds), would you think of finishing it? (Say “yes,” say “yes.”)
*I have the book already, so please don’t count me in the contest.
Ooooh my Courtney … Don’t you dare change a Single word.
Your story made me cry.
I agree with Keira Soleore. This is a story that begs to be finished.
Ooooo, gotta love Damien and FanLit! LOL! It really was a great time for us all and brought us together as a community that never would have happened.
And congratulations on the release of the anthology, CM! I saw it at the store a couple of days ago and smiled ear to ear!
Smiles,
Élodie
Courtney, that was amazing! I thoroughly enjoyed every word! I hope this is going to be a full blown book someday! Is it? You couldn’t write that scene and then just leave those two characters on the dance floor, could you? I want to read the rest of this story!
You’re awesome!
Whew. Long day at work, and I’ve just gotten free. Darcy, Elodie, and Manda, it all does bring back memories. Most of them are even pleasant.
The writing prompt itself, Margay, does not–if I never have to see the names “Damien” and “Patience” again I will be perfectly pleased.
Ms. Bookjunkie, Cheryl, and Theresa, the chances of my writing a full book for this are … not good. Part of the reason for that is that I think I’ve actually finished the story. There isn’t anything I can write after this that is going to be better than your own imaginations and yearnings.
Keira, you know, when I came up with the name Arundhati Roy was the last thing from my mind, although I did read the book. Who knows where the name came from in my subconscious?
Katherine, Jane, Bev, and Maureen, thanks so much for the well-wishes.
And Louisa, I keep waiting to hear that you’ve sold–I *know* it is going to happen for you, and I just can’t wait for it!
Finally, J.K., you’re totally a part of this community, and I’m so glad you joined!
And thank you all for your patience. This has been a very long day but you all made it so worthwhile!
Courtney, congratulations on the release. I’ve got my eye on Proof of Seduction next after reading an excerpt. More success to you.
I know I’m late but I just wanted to join in on all the praise. That was amazing. I remember all the hubub surrounding Fanlit but wasn’t as involved as everyone else on the EJ BB. The talent that has slowly emerged from that site is unbelievable. I’m so excited for all of you and I can’t wait to dive in to your books.
Courtney,
That is a fantastic story. The amount of emotion you packed into the single scene is a lesson for all aspiring writers. You could develop a workshop around this chapter. I would sit in the front row, hoping to capture a piece of magic I could apply to my own writing.
I would also say I’m stunned, but I’ve learned to expect nothing less from you. Your brilliance shines through in everything you write.
Courtney, congratulations on the release. What a great and emotional story.
Amazing!