Posted by Élodie on May 17, 2009 in
Life or Something Like It 
My baby sister got married yesterday. Yikes! I’m not planning on being the “maiden aunt” or anything, but if there’s ever an experience to make you feel that way, it’s having your youngest sister get married. 
Admittedly, I’m not always a huge wedding fan. They can be a bit like playing Russian Roulette for single gals–and more often than not, it feels like getting the bullet…
That said, it was, by far, one of the best weddings I’ve ever attended. Shhh…don’t tell any of the other members of my family I said that…It wasn’t the uniqueness of it or even the almost OTT nature of the weddings we love to read about in romance novels. As weddings go, it was fairly traditional while being somewhat low-key. In fact, it was so traditional that my sister insisted I come to the rehearsal dinner Friday night because I was “an out-of-town-guest” (I told her I wasn’t from out of town; I just live in Albuquerque for right now 
), not to mention the wedding was held in the Catholic Church. BUT, it wasn’t so traditional that it prevented me from teasing her about having back cleavage…muwahhaha!
Seriously, though. It was a wonderful service and reception. We chatted, ate food, ate cake, toasted, Macarena’d, Electric Slid(e), Chicken Danced, and did a few other slightly disturbing group-variety kinds of line dances. (I promise, I won’t ruin your illusions about my coolness by showing you photos of that…) I even Two-Stepped with Sir Pork Chop. You know, he’s pretty good for a 3 1/2 year old. 
Some of us even even enjoyed the delights of chocolate covered cherries. Okay, yeah. I handed him the platter, but it was near the end of the evening and, well, his mum and I laughed heartily over it. I even told him to say “I got may plate of chocolate-covered cherries.”
Naturally, when it came time for the bride to throw the bouquet, I took a large step to the right while the bouquet sailed to the left…okay, so I’m not ready yet to trample or be trampled catching a bouquet. Fortunately, the woman who caught it was engaged, so it seemed entirely appropriate that she should catch it.
By far, one of the best parts of the wedding was when a few of my siblings went outside to do the usual “wedding vandalism” to their car, they accidetally locked the keys in the car–with it running! We laughed so hard about. My sister and her new hubby had to take his car back to their house to get the other set of keys. We pretty much figure that that story will make for much good-natured ribbing for many years…
In a word, “Yes. I’ve had weddings on the brain in the last several days.” But it was something my sister that said reminded me of Elizabeth Boyle’s blog on Tuesday and the value of “things” in our lives. I asked my sister about her dress and she told me she chose it because it has that heirloom quality because she wanted that little bit of antique feel to it and that she wanted to be able to pass it down to her daughters. It was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. It had just the right combination of contemporary style, with a strapless bodice, and antique feel, with its champagne color and a beaded lace overlay. It was the sense of keeping a dress to pass on that struck me. In a time where disposable wedding gowns seems to be the rule rather than the exception, it was neat to see that my sister is going to keep that as her memento, just as EB’s maiden aunt kept her gown from her travels.
So, to diverge slightly from Elizbeth’s Tuesday post, but still keep it in the same realm of questioning, what is your favourite thing about weddings? Do you have some memorable piece that you kept because it was such an important signifier of the occasion you could not bear to toss it? What about some of your favourite literary (or film) weddings/wedding moments?
Tags: antique, Elizabeth Boyle, heirloom, marriage, wedding gowns, weddings
Posted by Janga on May 6, 2009 in
Life or Something Like It 
I had a bad experience last week when I was forced to deal politely with an individual whom I found arrogant, rude, and irresponsible. I spent a lot of time muttering words that would have horrified my mother, slamming things around on my desk, wishing the person who angered me would slide down a razor blade into a vat of alcohol, and venting to a few trusted friends. From these reactions I gained one headache and two broken fingernails and lost many wasted hours; the other person went blithely on her way totally unaffected by the problem. When my best friend called the next day, I was still fuming. She listened to me patiently and then said, “You would be better off using all that energy for things you can control.”
Her words gave me pause for thought. I’m clear about some things I can’t control—the weather, the economy, traffic, the noise level of the remodeling job going on next door. I have a harder time accepting that I cannot control the words, actions, and reactions of other people. It seems just to me that if I treat other people with courtesy and respect, they should respond in like manner. Unfortunately they don’t always do so, and I’m certainly old enough and experienced enough to know that life is often unfair. So I’m giving a lot of thought to what I can control and evaluating how well I’m doing.
1. The food I eat
I started 2009 making healthy choices about what I eat. But as I have become caught up in deadlines, I have fallen back into consuming what is quick and easy rather than what is good for me. I like to blame circumstances, but I really do have the power to choose more wisely.
2. The words I use
Expletives can sometimes be great de-stressors, but I dislike myself when I overuse them. (I’m not making calls here for anybody but me.) I hate it even more when I use words as weapons to wound those I love and when I settle for the words that will do rather than pushing to find those that are best in my craft. In all these cases, I can control my language.
3. The books I read
I love romance and cozy mysteries; they are my comfort genres. I have read them since childhood, and I look forward to reading them as long as I can read. But not every romance and mystery I pick up is worth my time. I can choose not to finish a book. I also want to choose sometimes the challenging over the comfortable. That choice too is within my power to make.
4. The time I spend
I want to spend my time on what matters to me most—my family, my friends, my writing, my church and community service, my contemplative time. Sometimes I have to juggle things and devote more time to one area for a while. One of my dearest and oldest friends is permanently moving home to Greece this month. I’m having lunch with her Friday whether or not I have met my current deadline by then. That’s my choice. Spending more than a couple of minutes ranting about someone’s jerkish behavior was my choice too, but it was a bad one that stole time from things that matter far more.
5. The self-talk in my head
It’s unlikely that I am ever going to turn into the little engine that could. But I do believe that telling myself that I am too old, too shy, too insecure to accomplish the things I most want to do is self-defeating. I can choose to see my years as experience gained and to remember all the years I conquered the shyness and insecurity on my job. I can choose to encourage myself as I encourage others.
After all this thinking, I’m beginning to feel quite powerful. What about you? Do you stress over things and people you can’t control? Are there areas you can control over which you need to reassert your power?
Posted by Janga on Feb 19, 2009 in
Life or Something Like It 
Charles Dickens did it. So did James Joyce, Harper Lee, Ernest Hemingway, Sylvia Plath, Ray Bradbury, Pat Conroy, James Agee, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and any number of other writers from Louisa May Alcott to Thomas Wolfe. They wrote autobiographical novels. They took pieces of their lives and wove them into the fabric of their fiction. “Write what you know” is surely among the most common advice given writers, and after all, what does any writer know better than her/his own life?
But none of us lives a truly solitary life. We are all part of family circles, groups of friends, and communities of neighbors and co-workers. At what point does my freedom to follow artistic precedent and use the details of my life become an invasion of someone else’s privacy, a betrayal of bonds?
William Faulkner famously said, “If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate: The ‘Ode on a Grecian Urn’ is worth any number of old ladies.” According to rumor, one famous writer is bound by a stipulation in one of his divorce agreements never to write about this particular ex-wife. One of my grad school mentors informed me quite testily when I refused to submit a poem I had written about a friend, that I would never succeed until I realized “it’s the poem that matters.”
I’ve always thought that people mattered more, but I find myself in something of a quandary currently. Someone I know well has just had her perfect life blow up in her face. She has been from birth one of those blessed golden beings. You know the kind I mean; you probably know someone like her. She was a gorgeous baby who became an adorable little girl who became a graceful teen. An honor roll student who won a major scholarship, she graduated summa cum laude, earned an MBA, and began a career that rose to record-setting heights for a woman. Along the way, she rejected a charming rogue to marry a good guy and responsible citizen. They had a fairy tale wedding, built a dream house, produced two bright, beautiful, high-achieving children (one boy, one girl), and seemed set for a charmed life.
Then a few weeks ago, Mr. Good Guy left her for a younger woman and she lost her poster girl-for-equal-status-for-women job a week later. I’m not making light of her very real pain. She is in shock, and her parents are bewildered that their sunshine child ended up a storm victim. Her kids are angry that their parents are not who they thought they were. It’s the kind of domestic tragedy that is all too common, made out-of-the-ordinary by her total lack of experience with defeat or loss. She’s a nice person too, a loving mother, a generous friend, a hard-working volunteer in her church and community. And I feel guilty that despite my genuine sympathy, a part of me keeps thinking what a great story I could make from her life. The thought just won’t go away. I keep playing with the what-ifs: what if she ran away to Europe, what if she quit her reduced job to start a career as a cellist, what if she fell in love with a man a decade younger, what if she took off on a cross-country trip on a Harley, what if she did any or all of the above?
I need some advice. What are the ethics here? If I write the story, am I allowing my buzzard instinct to defeat my nobler nature? Or is the writer’s vision paramount? What do you think?
Lindsey was declared the first place winner of the Smart Bitches’ Videomo Contest. We are thrilled for our fellow Vagabond, and we are loudly and proudly squeeing. If you haven’t seen the video, click on the link above and be prepared to laugh yourself silly. Congratulations, Lindsey! You’re the best!
Posted by Janga on Jan 10, 2009 in
Life or Something Like It 
Manda’s birthday is January 11. Please join us in wishing her a day filled with love, laughter, and other good things.
Posted by Janga on Jan 7, 2009 in
Life or Something Like It 
Today is Vagabond Élodie’s birthday. Join us in wishing her a wonderful day and a dreams-come-true year.
Posted by Élodie on Jan 3, 2009 in
Life or Something Like It My apologies for missing out on checking in yesterday, but just as I was getting back from helping out my best friend with a morning doctor’s appt for my niece, I got a telephone call…
OUR FAMILY IS BEING INVADED BY BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I say this because the 15th kid wasn’t quite the she that my SIL and I kept hoping might come…
I HAVE A NEW NEPHEW!!!!
Meet “Lizard.” Yep. He already has a nickname and only hours old…HA! Isn’t he gorgeous?? Okay, granted, he looks a lot cuter when he’s not wrapped up like a baby burrito…LOL! Big brother “Pork Chop” (yep, he’s still the Pork Chop) LOVES holding him!
Other big brother “Piglet” (we are a weird family) just preferred saying “cheese” for the camera…
Which is all well and good, since the little crazy might have wacked the new baby in the head, anyway…let’s just say he’s still learning the word “gently” when trying to pet the dog…a baby brother is a whole different situation…
Welcome Little Lizard!
Élodie
A month in France and a Kindle? When did my life become so glamorous?
That’s right! A Kindle was an early Christmas present from my family, the perfect gift to help me save space and travel light during my trip (I think my mom did it solely to ensure I wouldn’t waste packing space on books that could be filled with European chocolate…).
And wow – I love it! As a gadget nut and a devotee of ebooks, I don’t know how I waited so long. In fact I wish I’d sucked it up and bought one ages ago – already it’s changed my life.
I spend a LOT of time on the computer, so it’s great to be able to step away from it a little more often. And to be able to really lose myself in reading – not contstantly with an eye on my inbox. Not to mention having a selection of books when I’m on the go – and even manuscripts to critique. Maybe I’ll finally make it back to the days when I was a much swifter CP!
Having been out of the country I haven’t had much opportunity to take advantage of the wireless feature – but maybe just as well. Downloading direct from Amazon wih a single click – how dangerous is that? But I can attest that even without the amazingly awesome wireless feature that it’s still pretty simple to transfer books to it.
But after reading review after review, I knew I would love all these things about it. What surprised me most is how great the customer service has been. My Kindle only arrived a few days before my trip, and almost immediately I was having some problems with the scrollbar freezing. Less than forty-eight hours before my flight, I called customer service for help, and they determined I needed a new Kindle. And – oh no! – they were sold out. I explained my situation, and they said they’d put a special note about it and move me straight to the top of the list – but they didn’t expect to have any new Kindles for at least two weeks. Argh. But they did it! They overnighted me a Kindle the next day, and it arrived just hours before my flight. Go Amazon.
Alas, Kindles are currently sold out, so if you’re hoping for one for Christmas, you better hope Santa planned ahead. But there are currently some other great ways to get your own Kindle:
Angela James and some of the Samhain Authors are giving away TWO Kindles! You can enter to win by participating in a very simple scavenger hunt. Enter for Kindle #1 here. And Kindle #2 here (you can enter for both – how awesome is that?!). Angie’s also been giving away great prize packages each day as part of her Holiday Hell contest. And Samhain authors are celebrating with free reads and other giveaways at The Samhellion site.
Or if you have video-making skills, the Smart Bitches are giving away a Kindle as part of their Videomo Contest. I would be all over this is if I didn’t already have one. And I may have something up my sleeve anyway…
If you’re interested in learning more about the Kindle and other ereaders, Dear Author has posted their annual holiday ereader buying guides: Part 1 and Part 2.
Are you interested in a Kindle or other ereader? Have questions I can answer for you? Know of any other ereader – or awesome holiday – giveaways going on? Or, if you’re not at all interested in ereaders, what gifts are you most hoping to find under your tree this year?
Any musical Vagabondettes out there? Welp, I have a bit of a Friday morning puzzle for all you musical Vagabondettes. I have been searching for a couple of years now for a music book out of which we used to sing when I was a kid and sang in the Christmas midnight mass service at my church. I have no idea what the title of the book is, but I have a distinct memory of what the book looks like. Go figure!
At any rate, I was watching this old episode of Silver Spoons a couple of days ago and I saw it again! It was a Christmas episode and the characters were going out to carol in the neighborhood. The book they were using was this caroling book with Victorian carolers on the front cover and ice skaters on the back. It was so cool to see it again. Apart from the fact that it reminded me of the book I’ve been trying to find for a few years, it also affirmed that I’m not crazy (well, not that crazy) and that the book I remember really does exist.
I even took a picture of the image on the television to see if I could capture the title of the book. Alas, it didn’t work as well as I hoped, but I figured it is enough to give a visual aid. It’s the book that Dexter P. Stuffins (gotta love that name!) is holding.
So, since I know we have so many great Nancy Drews in our group, I thought I might petition the group to do a little sleuthing and see what we turn up.
And if you just don’t know (which is okay, since I just don’t know), tell me what your favourite Christmas music is. Do you go caroling? Would you do it if you could? Or do you prefer to stay snug and cozy inside?
And in the spirit of Christmas (and still purging excess books), one lucky commenter will receive another of the many fine books from 2007 RWA that I have in my Vagabond giveaway pile!
Yes, it’s that time of year again. Shopping, shopping, shopping. And it all begins today. Driving back from my sister’s house (where I celebrated Thankgiving 2.0) at 2 am, I noticed the cars lining up in the parking lot for the local Best Buy. 2 am! *gasp* I don’t know what I would do if I had to wait in a parking lot for hours before a store opened on the off chance I might be able to buy a sale item. And I dare not even set foot in the local Wal-Mart! I fear the trampling!
Don’t get me wrong. I have done the 2 am thing. In the past. (Again, please note past tense.) I just haven’t found great cause to park myself outside a department or electronics store at 5 am, 4 am, 3 am, or even 2 am to shop in recent years. Perhaps it is the conspicuous absence of my former shopping buddy, perhaps it is a lack of need of any of the items, or perhaps it is even the sheer unwillingness to get up at 2 am to begin the biggest shopping day of the year.
Actually, thoughts about Black Friday (and the 2 am Best Buy shoppers) had me thinking about how much it has changed throughout the years. I remember the first year my mom and I ventured out to test the ritual experience on our own. We thought waking up at 5 am was acceptable to decide to go shopping. Mind you, we got the 2 or 3 items we were interested in finding and then blew off the rest of the shopping to have an easy breakfast and then head back home from the shopping frenzy to sleep!
But the online universe has changed everything. Ah, sweet, sweet Internet. Economists now even have coined the phrase Black Monday to identify the Monday following Thanksgiving as the largest online retail shopping day of the year. Interestingly, I had a conversation with a Best Buy employee (I don’t remember his name, so I don’t feel I’ll be breaking his confidence or ruining his job) last year who even told me that shopping on Black Friday was no big deal, as most of the deals presented that morning often resurface in the weeks approaching Christmas.
And so, once again, I partake of my new Black Friday ritual. I sleep in. On Black Friday. Of course, there are a few interesting items that I’ve seen in the ads that I might venture out to the Target or Best Buy to purchase much later than the “doorbuster” frenzy, but these items are of little interest to the folks lined up outside that Best Buy. They’re on sale most of the weekend, anyway. I just might even go on Saturday. And if they run out, meh…I’ll find it later.
So, pray, what are your Black Friday rituals? Do you do the fantastic fun insanity of the early morning shopping? Are you checking the blog this very instant from your Blackberry while waiting in the car for the local Best Buy to open? Or do you sleep as late as you like and then get up and read the funny pages over your coffee? Have you abandoned the world of real shopping for that of virtual shopping to avoid all of the Christmas frenzy? What’s your funniest shopping experience? Go on, admit it, you’ve fought over the Tickle Me, Elmo doll…
And here’s a fun little Black Friday treat for you Vagabondettes out there…I was searching through my 2007 RWA conference piles recently and discovered a variety of fun signed books from authors to share. One lucky commenter will receive one of these many tomes. And the funniest shopping experience story will win both an autographed romance novel from the pile and a fun little treat, as well! And for those of you shoppers out there, have a fun day and stay safe!
